Only in Gerald's Mind!

I certainly can't miss any opportunity to record an event so funny as this! All logic dictates that this is one story to be shared.

On occasion something happens to everyone that doesn't seem funny to us at the time, but later brings a grin. To some of us who get to witness such an event it is both funny then and many years later as well.

It was September the 25th, 2006. Gerald and I sat across the table from each other in our local, Chinese buffet restaurant. We had been chatting away through a pleasant dinner on matters that seemed to have cultural bearing. Well, lets be more specific here. It was a conversation about racial discrimination and reverse discrimination.

As we wound down to the point of that topic Gerald noticed a young, Chinese girl walking up to the register about to pay her bill. "Excuse me, ma'am ..." his voice carried, "Could I have a ..." His question was broken when she smiled and said that she didn't work there.

It was funny that he had assumed that she worked there because she was Chinese, but utterly hilarious when he tried to cover his mistake with, "Oh, I just thought that you worked here because you all have white shirts!" So much for the conversation on discrimination!

That's not the end of the story. Gerald is black!

Only in Gerald's mind.

I Want to Marry an Old Woman.

I know it sounds crazy!
It may not be wise.
I want to marry an old woman,
Much before her senile demise!

I want a blue haired old lady,
Who knows her Ben Gay from her hose disarray!
I want to marry an old woman,
Who can play bingo all day!

She'll rock her rocker until she chokes blue.
It'll match her vericose veins of a similar hue!
I want to marry a toothless old lady,
Who can pucker yet kiss so true!

She'll get her s.s.i. check every month one day.
She'll bet on Bridge and thought she could play.
I want to marry an old woman with hair in her ear,
And can argue without spilling her beer!

She'll be tough as shoe leather,
But will scream at the change in the weather.
I want to marry an old woman whose bones will creak,
So I'll know where she walks and is every week!

She'll be able to spit from a car,
And collect chewed tobacco in a mason jar!
I want to marry an old woman you see,
Because she'll be just as honery as me!

We'll sit on the porch at night,
And argue about everything in sight!
We'll gripe about arthritis that aches,
And each pill we're given to take!

I want to marry an old woman you see,
We'll fuss about how often we pee!
We'll drink cranberry juice from a glass,
And fart showing simply no class.

I want to find an old woman for me,
Who's so blind she can barely see.
That way she won't mind when I stain my shorts,
While watching t.v., the news and the sports.

I want to marry an old woman who can talk and chew,
Her smoker's gum until the flavors through.
That there's the woman for me!
She's so honery she'll live to one hundred and three!

Stellar Harlequin

The night closed about me as a Stygian cloak embracing me in its starry veil. Very fabric held the mysteries of the universe and heralded them about my head as a hood enveloping eternity!

There, in its galactic praise, stood nebulas, quasars and deep realms of space that birthed stars and planets as a nursery holds the infants of youth. It was a place that marked the beginning and the end. All that was filled within was the elements of mystery.

Time danced upon this shroud as an elusive wraith that traveled with the light that was here one moment and gone the next. And it taunted me with a past unretreavable and a future not yet promised. It danced in the moment and faded with the elegance of a pirouette. About it was the raiment of light that spoke with brilliance into the eyes limited pupil and told the mind of things not yet designed.

This was the life and effigy of space. It was the headstone of the end that called out to the past to close with it shut tight as iron doors! What would follow? Was there a beginning to follow the end? Was there nothing or was nothing the illusion?

The Stygian cloak closed at my front. The hood grew forward and closed with its own end. I am no more. I am the pause that gave you thought.

This Old House

This old house is kind of strange! When it was new it held old the wonders of adventure and its walls were decorated with images that only memories of youth could represent. This old house was strong and weathered the elements in its early days. It stood as a marker for who we were and it stood in full glory and pride!

Now it eves hang slightly tilted. The wiring is a little frayed. The pipes are some what plugged from time to time and the support beams are slightly bent. Its windows are clear, but the sparkle that once lit within them has faded with time. Its rugs sag with fertive lament and it creeks with the passing of time.

This old house has heard the sound of wedding bells and the patter of little feet. It has heard the welcome sound of music that came from many hearts! It has graced the many holidays passed and shared the words of carolers far.

You know ... this old house may have its flaws now and then, but it is my body and I am grateful for its life. One day I will lay this old house down to final rest and I will leave it for a mansion in Paradisee!

I have a home above where no pain may live. There I will rise to my feet to sing amongst the angels! I shall raise my hands high and shout out "Praise the Lord most high!" and joy shall once again be my own!

This old house will pass away, but that which belongs to a King will rise to eternity! The owner of this old house has made a choice. He will choose to love the King and invite Him in this day. This old house is insured with a promise that will never be broken! Where is your home?

Air of the Coyote

They call them "chindi." They are the evil spirits that rattle the night. They live in ways like the Skinwalker who changes form from man to beast that they may live as the witches do in the land.

Mother in-law to be must wear a few small bells to alert the suitor for her daughter ... that he and mother must not meet untill after the wedding ceremony.

Coyote strolls the path of wisdom and defines the hunt. He is revered amongst the people and shunned amongst the dogs. It is them who gave the coyote his tail. He is the breeze of thought and I ... am the air of the coyote!

A Female Rain

It was a different world. I had left my own behind and my spirit stood naked before me. I saw my own identity and set it aside to take in all that was aroung me. Even the air that filled my lungs took in words that meant different things than I knew before. It was exciting and it was experience.

It was the world of the Navajo of Northern Arizona. It was their land, their culture and their generousity that gave me a new perspective. My friend and I were blessed to have the opportunity to spend time with a man and his family there that were like family of our own.

I helped with the tasks of shearing sheep and retrieving water from a distant well. Many a night it was my flashlight that guided me down the path to the little, rickity outhouse that stood on the hill nearby. I stood amongst the people who rode the bulls in local rodeos and let my camera preserve the memories. I was welcomed and I was happy!

I sat amongst the great tribal council in Window Rock and listened to the words of the native tongue and admired the ways of their lives. And I was honored to be invited into the tribal council chambers to visit with the President, Joe Shirley!

I tasted the breakfast of blue corn mush and the evening meal of fry bread and mutton. I spoke with the family and began to learn their words and ways.

I met a people who were sat a part from the world and yet were a part of its make up. I was honored in a world that knew no haste and I felt that life had meaning here. It was a place that did not set one man as better than another. It knew honor and it nurtured it! It was a land the time remembered. It was a time that I could never forget!

Our host for that weeks visit was and is more than a brother. He is a confidant who's life has tasted both the bitter and the sweet of the world and who's body defies its infirmities. He is blind and yet he calls it an "inconvenience." He hauls water, climbs wind mills that taunt the eagles! He cooks on open flame and treads the paths that man questions. He is a brother who takes one step backward and many forward denying in the infirmities that set us back in mere thought.

It was a different world! I stood in the wind that whiped through the dusty paths. The clouds gathered and left me in the female rain that gently preceeded the male's storm thought to come. I stood in peace. I stood in the Navajo way!

The Mind Ride

"Whoa! It's mighty lonely up here! Not much going on. Kinda' quiet too! Hey, down there! How's things goin'?"

"Going down here? Are you tryin' to be funny again, up there? You need a little more excercise, old man!"

"Everything's going just fine down here. If you'd just tell your boss a little more about fiber things would move a bit faster!"

"Just cause you're so close to the end of things ya'can't make a stink about it! I know that you're the middle man down there. Just be grateful that you ain't the end man there. He catches all the crap!"

"Well now ... That just makes my day! I get crap all day and all I get is more paper work for it! You are such a know it all up there!"

"You catch crap, eh? Me and the twin seem to catch that evidence! You sure do make a stink about it too!"

"Oh, you twins always have something to say! Just because we all live in the same vessal of the human body take it to 'heart' that this isn't eternal!"

"The sould is the one that's got it made here! While you mind, colon and rectum sit there and grovel in waste the soul has always got one real choice to make. It's a choice that has been taken to me, the heart, and shared with the mind that effects us all! The soul needs to be with Christ when all of you are done. It's a choice that only we can make and it has to be the right one!"

"So true, Heart! I won't be so lonely with my thoughts focused on the King and His Word! Let's what we can do to get the boss on the right path. There's a lot of joy in the Lord!"

Relevant Intelligence

I dare not claim intellegence! By man's mortality and judgement I am measured by standards of questionable intellect! How can man set a standard messure of intelligence when he, himself, is not the highest by his own standards?

Surely intelligence must be relevant to the individuals choices or to his own interests and capacity.

Does man judge intelligence by his own standards or that of God's? To measure what we consider intellegent is to eliminate God's perspective for our own. And, in so doing, forget the Word of God in the process!

Who is it that sets up the scales that weigh the balance of judgement in favor of either God or man? If we exist and behold a creation around us that was created we must acknowledge a creator. Can we acknowledge a founder of both man and God that might tip the scales in either direction? I think not.

Man cannot create the one and true living God! Man acknowledges his need as a spiritual being, therefore man is the creation of the living God who's life is manifest in the believer!

Intelligence ... is it relevant to God? The Scriptures only say that His way is higher and mightier than ours. Our minds are left at that, operating at their own capacity we call perception.

At that point intelligent becomes synonymous with wisdom and wisdom comes by hearing the Word of God!

Relevant intelligence. Who is wiser in the eyes of God? "For Solomon in all his glory was not cloaked as one of these ..." A wise king not even dressed his best was not even better than the lilies of the field which are here today and gone tomorrow.

We all know that John 3:16 declares the gift of God to man and the choice to live with Him eternally. Verse 17 even states the fact that judgement was not the intention, but grace and mercy offered!

Boil it down! Intelligence is the wisdom to know the difference and to accept the gift!!

The other choice? Lets just say it goes back to boiling!

Dear Reader .........

O.K.! So, I am assuming that you've read a few of these stories and posts by now, dear reader.
I would encourage you to feel free to post your thoughts and comments here any time! Your opinions are appreciated!

On a different note I'd like to pose some questions to you just to have some fun! Your responses there are welcome also.

1. A large boat is adrift in the ocean. It has been disabled by a fire that started in the galley. That fire threatens to consume the entire boat and its occupants quickly!

On board that boat is your best friend, a billionaire and your spouse. You can only rescue one. Which one will you choose?

2. You are the sheriff of a small town that is far, far away from any large town or city. A vile murderer is brought in and locked in one of your cells. He is the same murderer that killed your family five years ago. He is unarmed and has threatened you! No one is around. Your gun is loaded and in your hand. What do you do?

To Catch a Wish!

To catch a wish I bought the star.
To catch a wish I pulled the bone.
To catch a wish I threw the penny far!
To catch a wish I sold my throne.

I caught my wish and my dream came true!
If not for that wish I would've never caught you!!

The Question Was?

What was it that I saw the other day? I can't seem to remember. Oh, well. Must not have been important.

I remember that I was on my way out to the mailbox to get the mail then I remembered that I'd forgotten to turn off the stove.

On the way to the stove I noticed that the sink was dripping. So, I turned off the faucet enough to stop the drip and walked out to the mail box. As I looked through all the lousy bills I noticed that an awful smell was coming from the house. I ran in to find the chili pot boiling over!

Well, I turned off the stove just in time to hear the smoke alarm go off. It was an electric one so I couldn't pull out the battery to cease the shrill noise that it made. As I ran out to the garage I forgot that I had locked the door and had to go get the key.

While I was looking for that key the smoke alarm sparked and shorted out so I ran into the kitchen to fix that. I reached into my pocket for my pocket knife and found the keys that I'd forgotten were there!

I finally got every thing all solved and taken care of properly. Oh, what was your question now?

A Different World - Intangible Reality

Some call it "escapism." A way of moving mentally from reality into a source of fulfillment. It's found in a place that holds the mind where it does not have to face the truth ... no matter how horrid it may be. The sad part of escapism is that one eventually has to return what our society deems as reality.

There is a fine line between reality and the worlds that give us give us peace even if that peace comes with a price. That thin line is perception and it follows no logic dictated by the masses. It is the ticket from reality into our own world. And that world is contained within our minds and is sculpted by our desires.

The world within our minds bears no name. We call it what we will, but we define it by its gifts. Gifts we ironically call sanity! Our sign hangs outside our perception as tatered, frayed symbol of the mind passing from man's reality into the Shangra La that we have created. A place that some never return from.

My world is not like yours. It is not like anyone's! Here it is quiet and only I hold the controls. The sky is blue. Clouds may be summoned! Fish jump ready to be caught and they move in variety and abundance.

It is my Camelot where the only dragons that exist have been slain. Danger is left behind nursing pain as if it were a wound with no scab. The air is light and fresh! The breezes blow and tease my about my brow. Warmth comes only at my beckoning and cold is left to chill the night air above my quilts delight.

There is no stumble waiting for a toe. I run as I chose and am as free as the wind that harvest my grain. Laughter comes from the voice of my maiden in the distance. She is free of bond and her spirit soars the eagle's path. Here I stand to wait the warmth of her kiss. The spark in her eyes is my identity and I save for her the security she desires. There is no path to stumble here!

My world is closed. It begs no crowd! Invitation is only given by the need and passes when will dictates. Time is captive with limitations. It owns no length for I am the one who gives it will. I choose to roam by minutes tide and only then, if per chance, I will it on to lengthen only by my necessity.

Colors swirl about the bluest sky as a mist of paint at fancy's whims. My hands are wide and strong! I bear no infirmity and stand as a knight who's armor is my breast! My flesh is firm. My eyes are true! The arrow's tip sails from bow to sky and stirs the colors about my head as a crown.

The maiden passes. Her heart is light and her smile shows in the glow of her face. All is peace. All is well!

Some people call it "escapism." I choose not to return!! The label scratches my neck. It reads, "Asylum." Words float in the wretched world of man! "Insanity! Catatonic!!" The door is closed, shut tight and sealed with haste!

A Peacock Bass broke the water's surface! I must go now to call the breeze. The fish are biting!

Tellin' The Devil Off!

It was late in the night. Sleep was an evasive entity patroling the stygian depths of the night else where. In its place worked the restless thoughts of doubt and worry in a still, quiet voice that said, "Are you sure there is a heaven? You think that you're going to see your family again?"

I tossed and turned all night in a quilt that tangled about my feet! Then I settled my mind and prayed, "Lord, my mind is a maddening place! Please give me peace to understand and peace to rest!" My mind slowly began to ease and rest. Then these words came to mind which I shouted out to the enemy,

"I hear your words, Satan! Therefore you exist! Since you exist God must exist! Since God does exists so does His Word!

Since His Word exists and is all so true ... you in a LOT of trouble!!"

There is a saying that is a great tool: When the devil reminds you of your past remind him of his future!

1 John 4:4 - Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world!

Mind Event

Oh, wayward thing the mind complex,
Its nature our thoughts it effects!
By light of day it wonders necessitie's way.
With alacrity its dreams does give cause to sway!

Its kindred heart does costs us thought,
And yet perplexes man with with anger brought.
It is a task, alacrity pursuant!
Thus the mind complex we simply grant.

Flavors of Time

Time is a fickle youth seeking to grow old. It is the perveyor of logic and yet we crave more of it as an extension of life.

Humanity wonders at its quick passing and stands in awe of its longevity by the passing of day. And yet, somnilance creates the illusion of time well savored in sleeps renewing mode.

Time is unpredictable yet we sit in certain thought that tomorrow will come without choice. Though we are not guaranteed that tomorrow will arrive we either rejoice in that hope or dread its gifts.

Time is a fickle tease that taunts the minds of mankind. Time has a flavor and its taste is our concepts.